Excuses for Men

Excuses for why you were caught going at a strip club.


After going to a Topless Bar or Strip Club and "she" knows, lying is always the best response. We humbly offer these suggestions:

  1. Never admit you enjoyed it. If she asks, say "Hell, No! I just wanted to leave."
  2. Remember, you didn't want to go but the boss made you. (If the boss is a female, substitute a buddies birthday and they needed a designated driver.)
  3. The dancers were all UFO's (Ugly, Fat, and Old). You can't understand why any man would be interested in them. It's sad that that's the only way they can support themselves. All YOU wanted to do was leave but, (pick one) the a) boss or b) your buddies wouldn't let you.  Beside, honey, you would put them all to shame.
  4. You never tipped. You did not get a table dance.
  5. You only drank because they had a two drink minimum and the boss (or friend) paid.
  6. If she asks "What to they have that I don't". Your best answer is "an incredible lack of intelligence."
  7. Never ask for sex when you get home. If she offers, it's only to find out if you had sex before coming home. Being too drunk to get an erection isn't going to work. Instead, pretend to be even drunker and say, "Leave me alone, I'm a married man (or in a committed relationship)" then "pass out".
  8. Finally, if your wife/girl friend can't handle your natural male voyeuristic side, you need a new wife or girl friend and the sooner you get one, the better. As the song says, "we ain't wrong, we ain't sorry, and it's probably going to happen again." (See the Truth About Men.)
  9. If, by some miracle, you're married to a woman who likes to go to strip clubs and you went without her, you deserve to sleep on the sofa!




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